March 30

7 ways to build self-belief


One of the biggest obstacles stopping people from pursuing the life they love today is a lack of belief in their own ability. You could call it doubts, fears, lack of belief, resistance to change, a need for certainty, they are all variations of the same thing. They all manifest as a roadblock standing between them and the life they'd love to live.

It's not the lack of money that stops people. Starting a business has never been cheaper. At a minimum, all you need is a mobile phone and you probably already have one.

It's not time because there's no deadline. You can start doing whatever you can and work your way up. You can start a business as a side hustle until you're ready to make it a fulltime gig. It's a life you are creating not just a job. It's ok to take time doing it.

The real obstacle is our way of thinking and the good news is, we can change it. People think that the level of self-belief they have is something they were born with. If you believe your self-belief was determined at birth you're stuck with it for life, you are not. Regardless of the past or present, we can change the future.

How to develop your self-belief - In no particular order

Take care of your self.

This means more than not abusing yourself with self-destructive habits like overeating, excessive alcohol or drugs and lack of sleep. It means taking care of yourself. Giving your body good fuel to burn, exercise to keep it fit, sleep to help it refresh, and importantly keeping your mind healthy. It means having clothes and a hairstyle that helps you feel good. It's going places and doing things you enjoy and spending time with people who build you up when you can,

Affirm your achievements

Allow yourself to recognise your real achievements. It's easy to dismiss your achievements and focus on your weaknesses. Your parents spent the first 10+ years of your life making sure you did. It's how we encourage good behaviour and performance. Sadly it's also how we inhibit children and make them fear failing as adults.

Practice replaying some of your better days and things you feel are achievements. They don't have to be 'saved the planet' events. Just things like "I did my exercise last week. I finished the report I said I would and did it on time. Whatever and wherever you can find your sense of achievement, do that. As you do it will grow so you have bigger and bigger things to reflect on.

Stop elevating other people

There is a balance between treating people with respect and putting them on pedestals. Our society is built on a hierarchy system and we assign status to people for all kinds of reasons. The clothes they wear, the title they have, the car they drive, etc. All of that is a distortion. People earn your respect by their actions. Just recently in Australia, we have had revelations of sexual misconduct in Parliament House. We shouldn't be surprised. The people who work there are just people. We get shocked when an elite sports star behaves badly when their entire status is based on their ability to hit or kick a ball. Just because someone can hit a ball doesn't make them any better than you inside.

Choose your company

It's often said you will tend to become like the people you hang around with. Are you hanging around with people who make you feel good? People who build you up and talk positively about themselves and their lives?. Do you hang around with people who trash talk their partners? If you want to feel good and strong about your life, spend time with people who love their life, not the whingers who pull you down to their level.

Take baby steps

If changing your beliefs seems overwhelming, take baby steps. Don't take a dash at it and then give up. Just take little actions and keep doing them every day. Little steps repeated every day become habits. Your daily actions determine your future.

Challenge your thoughts

Think of your thoughts as a stream of consciousness. You cannot stop your thoughts. You can't always control your thoughts. They just come and they go. What we can do is choose the thoughts that we focus on. The ones we spend time with and the ones we reject. Start exercising this selection process. Get choosy about the thoughts you allow to stay in your head. Don't give space to thoughts that aren't helpful to you. Reject that one and replace it with a positive one.

Encourage others

Make it a habit to encourage others. Speak positively about other people. Talk up your partner. Talk up and encourage your friends. You might be surprised that many people only have a fa├žade of happiness. They may really appreciate your uplifting words. Not fake flattery but just sincere, encouraging positive words.


Since we can actually change our beliefs, is it possible you can believe that living a life you love is perfectly achievable? It should be. If you aren't currently living a life you love, please take these baby steps and start believing it's possible. There's nothing else standing in your way.


Inspiration, Self-belief

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